#irregular eating because of anxiety

[martian-astro10]

Debilitated planets in astrology

Sun in Libra ⚖️

Sun in Libra is debilitated because sun's aggressive and assertive nature does not go well with Libra's love for harmony and balance. The most common thing that comes with a debilitated sun is the lack of confidence. I know many people with this placement who are actually really good leaders but because they are not confident in their own abilities, they tend to hold themselves back. No matter how much other people praise them, they'll always think that they're not good enough. Can also be people pleasers, I personally think that you guys should not be in a relationship unless you strengthen your sun. They are much more likely than others to be victims of peer pressure. There can be some problems with heart, bones, or stomach, or it's like, your stomach is the first thing that hurts when you get sick, migraines and fevers are also common. To strengthen your sun, you should do the following things, (do the things that you can, you don't have to do every single one, I'm listing down all the ones that I know) :

Perform Surya namaskar or just do yoga in the morning.

Use a copper glass to drink water.

Offer water to sun every morning (when it rises) from a copper vessel.

Look at the sunrise with your eyes, if you wear glasses, remove the glasses and then look at it. JUST as the sun is rising, don't wake up at 11 am, and then look at the sun.

You shouldn't eat a lot of meat, I'm not telling you to become a vegetarian, but do lessen the consumption of meat and try to eat more fruits and vegetables instead.

Wear red colored clothes more often, and also donate red colored clothes to orphanages, it can be helpful.

If you're a Hindu and you LIKE being a Hindu, then chant this, "om suryaya namaha" 3 times in the morning before leaving your house or if you're offering water to sun then do it that time only.

Moon in Scorpio 🦂

Moon is debilitated in Scorpio. People with a debilitated moon are highly prone to stress, much more than others, they also very easily get Black circles under their eyes, it's like, even if they sleep a little less for a day, you'll see it on their faces, their hair starts turning grey very early on in life. They can have sinus problems and be prone to allergies. Also, I read this somewhere, but it's turned out to be true for every person that I know has a weak moon, their sweat smells very very bad, I'm sorry 😭. They can also be scared of water, not like bathing and regular stuff but swimming and doing water sports. HUGE mood swings, one moment they're shouting at you and the next they're asking for a hug and talking sweetly. Highly sensitive to criticism, will get offended at the smallest things, this results in them being very defensive over their interests and lifestyle. Their intuition is weak and they can struggle to figure out the true intentions of people, can get very easily manipulated. Lactose intolerance is something that I've noticed in a lot of people with a weak moon. Can have problems with mental health, like anxiety and adhd, weak chest, breast, ovaries, uterus, problems with menstrual cycle, irregular periods, fertility issues. cold and cough are very common. To strengthen your moon, you should do the following things :

Avoid spending time alone.

Practice meditation every day to calm down the mind.

Offer milk to shivaling if you can.

Avoid having birds as pets.

Eat coconut and wear white clothes, or even wearing a white scarf with usual clothes is fine.

You should also use sandalwood oil to improve sleep or use it while meditating as well.

Chant "Om Shram Shreem Shroum Sah Chandramase Namah" 3 times everyday, do it while meditating.

Mercury in Pisces 🐟

Mercury is debilitated in Pisces. Communication problems are a given with this placement. People can misunderstand their words quite often, it's like, even when they're trying to compliment someone, it sort of ends up sounding like an insult, when that wasn't their interntion in the first place. They can be the "invisible" friend in the group, it's like even if they go away nobody will notice or be affected by their absence. The friend who always has to walk behind when there's no space left, the one that is left behind when they stop to tie their laces, the one that tries to be social and funny but ends up failing miserably. They feel alone even if they're surrounded by people. This is especially true when they're young, but they look at all these people around them, having fun, dating, partying, and then they're just THERE, just existing, that feeling is common. Overthinking, nobody can beat them to it, sitting in class, having a doubt but not bringing it up cuz you're afraid of being perceived as stupid. They're also very sensitive to criticism. They do have a really strong intuition though, can see right through people, good judge of characters. Frequently engage in maladaptive daydreaming, will act like a princess whose knight is in love with her, but she is forced to marry a prince from another kingdom, frequently cook up stories like this in their heads (totally not speaking from personal experience). They daydream to avoid reality, but like who doesn't. There can be problems related to throat, nervous system, ulcers, fractures, UTI's, iron and haemoglobin issues as well. To strengthen your Mercury, you should do the following things :

Wash new clothes before wearing them.

Chanting mantras related to lord budhha.

Eat green vegetables and fruits

Keep good oral hygiene, clean your teeth and tongue THOROUGHLY (everyone should do this btw, cuz...basic hygiene)

Chant "Om gan ganpataye namah" 3 times in the morning before leaving your house

Venus in Virgo 🦊

Venus is debilitated in Virgo. These people can be very critical of their partners, will always try to find faults with them. Can be overly concerned with outer appearances. They struggle a lot with self love, Cassie from euphoria is a pretty accurate representation of someone with a debilitated Venus. They have low self esteem and as a result, can get together with people who try to pull them down and the worst part is that they tend to believe them. They have a bad fashion sense, they're more likely to follow trends, not realising that those clothes are not the best for THEIR body type. Dependency issues in relationship is very common. They are creative, but don't know how to express it, most of the times, they're not even aware of this creativity. They can also be more prone than others to get addicted to alcohol or drugs, so I would advise you to stay away from them. If you haven't consumed it yet, then it's better to not even try. Can have problems related to kidneys, skin, eyes, sexual hormones (PCOS is common in women with this placement), hormonal disorders. To strengthen your Venus, you should do the following things :

You should avoid taking anything for free, for ex, you know how in some stores they offer things to taste, like snacks and all, don't try them.

You should use cow ghee to cook food.

Wear silver jewellery and use nice perfumes.

Pour white flowers in water, preferably a big body of water.

Never repeat your clothes without washing them first. Don't wear unwashed clothes.

Chant "Om shum shukraya Namah"

Mars in Cancer 🦀

Mars is debilitated in Cancer. These people are always a little lethargic, the type to wake up tired no matter how much sleep they get (yk that meme, that goes "when you wake up and can't wait to go back to sleep". They don't like to eat healthy food, can be obsessed with eating junk all the time. I know people with this placement who are ADDICTED to cheese, won't eat anything without it. Can get bruised very easily and most of the time they aren't even aware of how they got it. Get frequent body pains because of weak muscles. Don't know how to express their sexuality in a healthy manner. They have Weak concentration skills and low attention span. There can be property related disputes in the family, you'll probably not inherit anything (good) from your family. They use displacement as their defence mechanism, anger is always directed at the wrong person because they're too weak to hurt the people who've hurt them. They can be very passive aggressive. There can be problems related to bones, muscles, blood, genitals, rectum, hands and prostate gland. To strengthen your mars, you should do the following things :

You should donate blood.

Carry red things with you, it shouldn't be too big, small enough to fit in your pocket.

Eat red fruits and vegetables, like, pomegranates, beetroot, apple, cherry, red pepper, etc.

Chanting or reading Hanuman chalisa can help a LOT ( I would give an example but the whole situation was very detailed)

Use copper utensils to eat food and drink water in a copper glass.

Jupiter in Capricorn 🐐

Jupiter is debilitated in Capricorn. For some weird reason, they always get teachers who have a problem with them. Their teachers always pin point their faults and try to humiliate them. But when they grow old, like 25+ they finally manage to find someone who does their best to guide them, this teacher will have a huge impact on their life. They are likely to become more spiritual and less religious as they grow up. I know a lot of people with this, and they all ended up becoming the head of their household, it doesn't matter if they're a man or a woman, married or divorced, they are gonna be the ones to manage their family. There will be a lot of difficulties in terms of career, you might have to work twice as hard as others to get the same benefits. There can be financial difficulties as well, it usually happens because most of the time, these people are the breadwinners, so whatever they earn, gets used for their family instead. So it FEELS like they earn less even if they earn a lot. This is a very bad placement for women, since the probability of getting a bad husband increases. The women with this get ghosted a lot. You can be more prone than others to health problems like, diabetes, obesity, insomnia, gall bladder stones, ear and gastric troubles. To strengthen your Jupiter, you should do the following things :

Apply a blend of turmeric powder and sandalwood on your forehead, a short line with your thumb (dip your thumb in the mixture and then put your thumb between your eyebrows and draw a ⬆️ line)

Offer bananas to people.

Avoid consuming meat and alcohol.

Wear yellow clothes (avoid wearing dark Colors) or keep something yellow with you permanently.

Practice meditation.

Wear gold, it can be a small chain or a ring as well.

Chant "Om brim brihaspataye namah"

Saturn in Aries 🐏

Saturn is debilitated in Aries. These people are very irresponsible and make fake promises. They'll do everything except what they're actually supposed to do. Have a tendency to blame others for their failures, I know quite a few people with this and.....🙄. These people are not good leaders but they think they are, this leads to them taking leadership roles through force. They look scary and they ARE scary, nobody can stand up to them. They're unable to manage resources effectively and this can lead to severe financial difficulties. They also end up making a lot of enemies, so even if they become successful, it won't be for long. There can be problems related to, legs, knees and joints. To strengthen your Saturn, you should do the following things :

Brush your teeth with a neem toothpaste.

Honestly, be a vegetarian, this is the only planet for which I would recommend you guys to NOT consume meat and alcohol. I know 100's of people who were literally dying during their Saturn mahadasha and then became perfectly fine once they stopped eating meat and drinking alcohol.

Be a decent human being, that is literally all that Saturn asks of you 😭

Drink cow milk ONLY, if that's not available then don't drink milk.

Always keep a little ball of silver with you.

Wear dark green clothes.

(there are many factors that can cancel the debilitation of a planet, and these remedies help too, so don't worry too much if you have planets in debilitation)

Divider by @strangergraphics-archive

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[helslastangel]

Your most vulnerable areas according to the signs

Disclaimer: These are based on personal observations and may not resonate for everyone with these placements. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly 🪽

Aries - Head, Face, Eyes, Brain, Muscular System

If you have significant Aries placements, you may be prone to migraines and headaches. If you play sports or work a highly active/physical job, be careful not to strain your muscles unnecessarily - learn the correct ways to lift and throw objects and maneuver your body. You're passionate and need lots of stimulation, but take time to rest and enjoy some quiet moment so that your eyes and mind get a break.

Taurus - Neck, Throat, Vocal Cords, Thyroid, Metabolic System

If you have significant Taurus placements, you may be prone to frequent colds, sore throat and earache. If you're a singer or heavily rely on your voice for your work, you'll want to take extra care to not damage your vocal cords, even accidentally. You may find that weight comes easily to you for seemingly no reason - have your thyroid checked regularly for signs of under-activity.

Gemini - Arms, Shoulders, Hands, Lungs, Nerves, Nervous System

If you have significant Gemini placements, you may be prone to coughs, colds, sinus issues and respiratory discomfort in general. Remembering to get enough fresh air and avoiding habits like smoking are probably in your best interest. You can also struggle with anxiety and fatigue from nervous exhaustion. Meditation and yoga can help tremendously in these areas.

Cancer - Chest, Breasts, Stomach, Uterus, Diaphragm, Upper Alimentary System

If you have significant Cancer placements, you may be prone to chest pains and digestive issues. Whether the pain is caused by stress, anxiety, poor breathing, or even having heavier breasts, you'll want to identify the root cause and take steps to resolve it before so it doesn't lead to depression. Therapy, meditation, improving your posture or investing in properly supportive garments can help in this regard.

Leo - Chest, Upper Back, Heart, Spine, Cardiac System

If you have significant Leo placements, you may be prone to heartbeat irregularities and high blood pressure. If there is any lesson you must learn from the king of the jungle, it is how to take time to relax. Be mindful of your energy levels and practice keeping calm even in the most infuriating situations. Eat heart-healthy foods and don't be afraid to walk away from people and places that trigger you to roar.

Virgo - Abdomen, Intestines, Lower Liver, Alimentary Canal, Spleen

If you have significant Virgo placements, you may be prone to weight problems (under or over) and stomach/bowel issues. You carry most of your stress in your midsection and have ongoing issues with your appetite and tolerance for food. Either you don't get enough due to stress and food aversions/complications, or you indulge too much in an attempt to relieve your anxiety. You're highly observant and don't miss too many details, so you're in a good position to listen to your body and find a routine that suits your mood and lifestyle.

Libra - Lower Back, Skin, Kidneys, Bladder, Ovaries, Blood

If you have significant Libra placements, you may deal with sensitive skin and also digestive issues. If you like to eat a lot of rich foods, you may need to cut back. Go easy on your stomach. It's okay to have the things you like but do so in moderation so you don't end up feeling constipated or having other bowel issues. Take a little extra time to moisturize your skin and drink a lot of water.

Scorpio - Genitals, Groin, Colon, Sex Organs, Gall Bladder, Rectum, Urogenital System

If you have significant Scorpio placements, you must absolutely take care of your sexual and hormonal health, otherwise you could experience more issues with your libido than others. Nothing wrong with being celibate or abstinent, but if your reasons are because you simply cannot get in the mood, you should get things checked out. And of course, if you have the opposite situation, stay safe and avoid STDs like the plague. Everyone should, but you can have an especially bad or treatment-resistant reaction.

Sagittarius - Hips, Thighs, Sciatic Nerves, Lower Spine, Liver, Autonomic Nervous System

If you have significant Sagittarius placements, you may be prone to falls And injuries that impair your ability to walk. If you have nerve issues or eyesight problems, you want to especially be careful to avoid accidents. As you may experience worse or consequences than some others. Even if you don't experience any major injury, you may notice that you have an unusual walk/gait, or others may point this out to you. Take care to maintain good posture and avoid reckless behavior/dangerous situations.

Capricorn - Skin, Hair, Knees, Bones, Teeth, Joints, Skeletal System

If you have significant Capricorn placements, You may be prone to broken bones or have already experienced this. You're not necessarily a weak person. Rather, you may have strong enough bones, but are just likely to break them if you're not careful about exerting too much force and not paying enough attention during physical activities. The main advice for you is to simply be careful and look before you leap. Literally. I have Capricorn moon and broke a finger playing volleyball and a toe playing soccer. I know two Capricorn suns who broke their arms from doing parkour. My 5H Capricorn BFF broke their wrist from skateboarding. You've been warned. On the bright side, you likely have strong, distinctive, or good looking teeth, maybe even both.

Aquarius - Lower Legs, Calves, Ankles, Circulatory System, Elimination

If you have significant Aquarius placements, you are either smooth in your movements, or you are clumsy and prone to stumbling and running into things. You may also have issues with the circulation in your legs, or have weaker ankles that don't support you very well when walking or standing still for long periods. This may not be something you can do much about through at-home remedies, but if you experience things like varicose veins or discomfort in your legs, have a doctor refer you to a specialist who can recommend corrective shoes or other treatment options.

Pisces - Feet, Toes, Body Fluids, Lymphatic System

If you have significant Pisces placements, I hate to tell you this, but you Are likely to have a weaker immune system than most. You are prone To worrying, or at least overthinking, quite a bit, which doesn't Help matters in the slightest. On a less serious, but no less irritating note. You may also deal with several food issues, including bunions, plantar fasciitis and fungal infections. All of my Pisces sun friends have complained to me about getting athlete's foot from walking around change rooms without slippers, or being unable to wear shoes they liked because of a bunion. But on the bright side, you folks usually have nice feet. Even the men. And I am not a foot person at ALL, so that's saying something coming from me.

𓆩♡𓆪

↤ go back to the masterlist

[nctnanajaemin]

my brother's bestfriend pairing: lee jeno x na!sister reader chapter five word count:1.8k warnings: mentions of nausea, vomiting but no detail, late/irregular period, pregnancy, reader has an anxiety attack. 

it's been about a month since jisung found out about you and jeno. that time in the car was the last time you and jeno slept together and he's barely spoken to you despite the both of you confessing your feelings.

you've been sick and exhausted the last couple of days, barely leaving your room. 

the guys are all downstairs yelling like usual. you pull the covers over your head, trying to drown out the noise so you can try and go back to sleep.

just when you are about to doze off, you hear a knock on the door.

"come in," you call out weakly, still keeping the covers over your head.

the door opens and shuts, the mattress dipping down next to you as someone sits down.

"you've been in here for days," chenle says, pulling the covers down to reveal your face. "what's going on?"

"i feel like crap."

chenle studies your face for a moment, his expression growing more concerned. "you look like crap." he reaches out to feel your forehead, checking for a fever.

"thanks a lot, chenle," you mutter, rolling your eyes. "just what every girl wants to hear."

"you don't seem to have a fever."

"i just feel weak and nauseous."

chenle hums in acknowledgment. "have you eaten anything today?"

"no. not yet."

chenle tsks, clearly not happy with your response. "you need to eat something. even if it's just toast or something light."

"i don't think i could keep anything down."

chenle sighs, running a hand through his hair. "so you have been throwing up?"

"yes."

"for how long?"

"about three days. i thought it was just a stomach bug or something, but i just can't shake it off."

chenle goes quiet for a moment, clearly lost in thought. "can i ask you something... personal?"

you nod, unsure of where this is going.

"when you and him hook up do you use a condom?"

"usually no."

"have you taken a pregnancy test?"

"no," you say quickly. "i told you, i thought it was just a stomach bug or something. plus, i'm on birth control, so the chances of that are slim."

"but not impossible," chenle points out. "when was the last time you had your period?"

"it's been a while, they are really irregular. "

"oh god. i think it would be worth taking a test just to rule it out."

you process chenle's words. the idea of being pregnant never even crossed your mind because you were on birth control. but now...

"can you get me a test?"

"yes," chenle says, standing up from the bed. "do you need anything else?"

you shake your head no, and he leaves the room.

your heart is racing, and you feel a mix of fear and anxiety. what if you're really pregnant? you haven't had an actual conversation with jeno in over a month. the only time he talks to you is if jaemin is in the room.

a few minutes later, chenle returns with a pregnancy test. he pulls the bag out of his hoodie pocket and hands it to you. "do you want me to stay or give you privacy?"

"stay please."

chenle sits down in the chair beside your bed as you take the box out of the bag and read through the instructions before going into the bathroom to take it.

you close the door behind you and take a deep breath. you follow the instructions, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the possibility of being pregnant.

after doing everything you have to, you place the test on the bathroom counter and go back into your room to wait the suggested three minutes.

"you okay?" chenle asks.

"i don't know."

chenle stands up and pulls you into a hug. "i'm here, okay? no matter what the result is, i'm here for you."

you cling to chenle, tears welling up in your eyes. "i'm scared, chenle."

"i know," chenle says, rubbing comforting circles on your back

after the longest three minutes of your life, the timer goes off. you pull away from chenle and walk back into the bathroom.

you pick up the pregnancy test and close your eyes, taking a deep breath before looking down.

when you open your eyes, two pink lines stare back at you.

you drop the test as if it's burned you, and it clatters against the floor.

"no, no, no," you whisper, feeling like your entire world is collapsing around you.

the room starts to spin, and your knees feel weak. you stumble backward and sit down on the edge of the bathtub, trying to catch your breath.

your breathing becomes more ragged and shallow, your chest feeling tight and constricted. you can hear your own heartbeat drumming loudly in your ears, drowning out all other sounds.

chenle appears in the doorway, looking worried. he takes one look at your face and knows everything.

he walks over to you and quickly kneels down in front of you. "hey, look at me."

you struggle to focus on him, your vision clouding with tears and dark spots.

chenle gently grips your shoulders, trying to get you to look him in the eye. "you need to breathe," he says firmly. "slow, deep breaths. follow me." he starts exaggerating his own breathing, inhaling and exhaling loudly, showing you how he wants you to copy him.

you try to mimic his breathing, but it's difficult because your chest still feels tight.

"just keep going, you're doing great."

it takes a few minutes, but slowly, your breathing starts to stabilize, and the chest tightness begins to ease.

you take a few more shuddering breathes before you finally feel like you can breathe normally again.

"th-that was the worst one I had in a while."

"are you okay?"

you nod weakly. "yeah."

chenle moves to sit down beside you. "do you want to talk about it?"

"it's just a lot to take in, and i don't know what to do."

chenle reaches out and takes your hand. "well, the first thing you need to do is talk to jeno."

"how am i supposed to talk to him. he's been avoiding me for over a month now."

chenle gives you a sympathetic look. "i'll force him to talk to you. most of the guys were napping when i came back from the store. do you want me to go down and get him?"

you hesitate for a moment before nodding your head. "yeah. i guess i should just get it over with now."

chenle gives your hand a comforting squeeze before getting up to go get jeno.

you stand up and grab the pregnancy test before walking back into your room.

you rehearse what you're going to say over and over again in your head while you wait, and eventually, there's a knock on your door.

the door slowly creaks open, and jeno steps into the room.

he shuts the door behind him and takes a step toward you. "chenle said you wanted to talk to me?"

"yeah, sit down. i have something important to tell you."

jeno looks at you for a moment before he sits down in the chair where chenle was previously. "what's going on? you don't look good."

"i've been feeling terrible for the past few days and i still haven't gotten my period."

"so what? you think you're pregnant?"

your hand trembles as you hold out the pregnancy test to him. he takes it and looks down at it for a moment, his eyes widening as he sees the two pink lines.

he looks back up at you. "how long have you known?"

"i just found out today. i took the test right before chenle came to get you."

jeno lets out a long breath, running a hand through his hair. he's silent for a few moments, clearly trying to process everything. "i knew i should have used a condom."

"is that seriously all you have to say?"

"well, what the hell do you expect me to say? we weren't even together, no one knew about us besides chenle and jisung, and jaemin is for sure going to fucking kill me when he finds out."

"i don't know. maybe something a little more sympathetic, considering the fact that i'm scared shitless right now and the only thing you're worried about is jaemin and the guys knowing about us."

"you think i'm not worried? i'm scared shitless too. i'm not ready to have a kid."

"you think i'm ready? i'm still in college. and how do I know that you aren't going to run away when things get complicated with the baby just like you did with me."

"i didn't run away. i just needed some space."

"some space," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "you've been ignoring me for over a month, jeno. i could barely get you to say more than two words to me."

"we had that talk, and then i was thinking and couldn't figure out what i wanted. I didn't want to end up hurting you."

you shake your head. "well, you hurt me anyway."

"i know, and i'm sorry. i've been feeling guilty for treating you like that, but now... now we have a whole baby to deal with."

the thought of the baby hits you both again.

"where do we even start?" you ask softly.

"first step is to see a doctor, get confirmation that you're actually pregnant and find out how far along you are."

the thought of going to the doctor makes your stomach churn, but you know it's necessary. "i'll make the appointment first thing in the morning."

"i'll go with you if you want me to."

"yeah. it'll be less terrifying if i have someone there. also i'm sorry for being such a bitch."

"you had every right to be upset. i've been a dick to you and i don't blame you for exploding like that."

"still, i shouldn't have been like that. my emotions are all over the place at the moment, and i took it out on you."

he walks over and sits down beside you, pulling you into a hug.

you sink into his embrace, burying your face in his shoulder. "i missed you."

"i missed you too."

--------------

the next morning rolls around and you were able to get into the doctors. you provided them with a urine sample and bloodwork and they told you that they would call later in the day with the results.

it's been a couple hours since then and now you are watching the guys play basketball in the driveway.

just as you are about to check your phone again, it buzzes with a call. you stand up and walk into the house.

"hello?

"hello, this is dr. kim. is this y/n?"

"yes?"

jeno walks into the living room and points towards jaemin's room. you walk in with him following, putting the call on speaker.

"i have the results of your urine sample and bloodwork. you are indeed pregnant and are about six weeks along. i'd like to schedule an appointment for you to come in for an ultrasound to get a more accurate estimate of your due date. would the same time and day work next week?"

"yes, same time next week is fine."

"okay, thank you. have a nice day and congratulations."

"thank you."

the doctor ends the call and you immediately hug jeno.

"we'll figure everything out. don't worry."

chapter four | chapter six

-----------------------

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[stellocchia]

I love the headcanon of Killer having ADHD, but I never see it explored much despite it being so popular. So here's a list of how ADHD may affect him based on my own experience:

- He remembers he's said something, but doesn't remember to who and just assumes it was everyone who needed to know. It was not.

Imagine the amount of times he's noticed a detail and told the Chara in his mind to not forget only to then forget they're the only one he spoke to about it. Sure, this is gonna be a problem while living under Chara or Nightmare if they find out (I say 'if' because Killer may play the part of the fool with them to lower their guard and him not noticing shit would fit right in), but it's also gonna be troublesome when he's already living with Color.

Imagine he scheduled his next therapy appointment and the only person he told that to is the voice in his head, like, that's bound to end up in a few skipped sessions.

- Remembers only one task at a time unless he writes them down.

I don't doubt that Chara and Nightmare both tried to beat some memory into him, but, surprise surprise, abuse doesn't cure ADHD. For some reason, they're both shocked to find this out.

Killer may develop the strategy of just repeating the list of tasks in his head with the exact cadence and rhythm they were told to him in over and over again as he's doing them to keep them in mind if he doesn't have access to a way to write the orders down. It works pretty well as long as he never stops doing it. As soon as he stops, anything but the task he was currently focusing on disappears.

- Inability to focus on only one thing at a time as it's too understimulating.

I know this one feels like a contradiction to the last one, but imagine it more as 'can't focus on reading unless you're also listening to something or fidgeting with your hands, or walking in circles'. More than one sense has to be stimulated at all times unless you wanna dissociate.

And, to be fair, Killer probably spent most of his time under Chara and Nightmare dissociating anyway, so it's possible that he discovered this neat little trick only after leaving with Color, most likely after starting therapy. Because, while Color of course tries his best to help, he also doesn't have all the knowledge and experience necessary to always know how.

- Irregular sleeping patterns.

This guy probably barely sleeps most of the time under Chara and Nightmare, both because they only allow him to as a reward if he's been good, and because it's such a vulnerable position to be in that it isn't worth it.

But, even once he's settled in with Color, my guy is still gonna swing between sleeping 3 hours and 12 hours straight depending on the day. He may lay down for a nap in the afternoon only for him to wake up the next day. Especially if he's kinda bored. Buddy's sleeping schedule is gonna give Color a heart attack.

- Frequent bouts of depression.

Depression and ADHD are linked together heavily, if he has ADHD it's highly likely that he suffers from depression too.

I mentioned it before, but I think his coping mechanism for that is locking himself in Stage 2, although he's not doing so consciously. Stage 2 is just the most likely one to be able to handle the increased anxiety/paranoia and apathy that come with it. He's also the least likely to change his behavior, so outsiders may miss the fact that they're in a vulnerable position. This, however, is a double edged sword because that guy is shit at taking care of the body and himself and may just go without eating and sleeping until he collapses, all while dissociating the whole time.

- All-consuming bouts of hyperfixation that leave him feeling empty once they fade.

The hyperfixation could be related to specfic AUs, characters within them (he doesn't consider anyone real anyway) or even tasks, weapons, animals, specific people.

For as long as the hyperfixation lasts, he struggles thinking of anything else and/or being happy/interested/focused while thinking about anything else. Of course, every time he thinks that maybe this is the interest that's gonna stick only for it to eventually fade and leave him feeling empty, maybe even kick-starting another bout of depression. There are ways to cope with that (pushing yourself to explore interests outside of you hyperfixation and establishing a healthy routine outside of it helps), however I think he'd only start exploring those once he's with Color and in therapy because mental health under Nightmare and Chara isn't really a thing. He's too busy trying to remain functional with them for that shit.

-

Of course, there's more to it, but those are the things I personally love to give Killer the most. That and the fact that he's easy to distract with something colorful and that is one of the reasons why he likes Color so much (same). Though that one's just funny tbh.

[lesorus]

having PCOS is some special kind of hell only a biological woman will ever have to deal with. you'll basically be told that you're at risk for cancer, diabetes, you're infertile, you'll get hirsutism, your hair is thin, your periods painful and irregular, you're constantly tired, constantly hungry, you're always in some kind of pain or discomfort, you might eat less than you need and still gain weight.

you'll be told the only thing you can do about it is diet and exercise, which is fair, it works, but you literally are at risk for high insulin resistance and fatigue as symptoms. you can only swim against the current. now, you can also take birth control pills but they don't solve any of your real problems, they just hide them and if anything the second you stop taking them your health will get worse.

And did I talk about mental health? well, you're at high risk for depression, anxiety, insomnia, and eating disorders. fun right? and it's not some obscure disorder, 10% of women have PCOS. It's a common ailment, you'd think it's well-researched, that OB-GYNS are experienced in treating it, or at least empathetic. Right?

No, literally no. Nobody cares, you have to be your own doctor, go to Reddit for information, and look up research papers. You trust tiktokers more than your medical providers because the best they're gonna do is tell you to take a pill that won't be that effective, diet, and come back when you're pregnant. Oh, your pain is unbearable? Just take some paracetamol. You can't seem to lose weight? Get a grip, you just need to eat 0 carbs and exercise every day, and lift weights. Get some laser treatment for your facial hair while you're at it. You're tired all the time? Doesn't seem that serious, everybody is.

Or worse. Oh, your labs come out fine, you're fine. You have a healthy BMI, what are you worried about? You get a period every 40-ish days so it's not that bad. Not that you're barely eating, exhausted all the time, in severe physical pain, and emotionally distressed. You'll be able to have kids! Cheer up!

And all this? Because the medical industry doesn't care about women.

[kamimarroco]

A story where Ren suddenly starts chatting with you because he apparently cares about you staying up late at night. Not reviewed, may undergo corrections in the future.

Words: 1100+

“are you still awake?”

The vibration of your phone and the appearance of a notification startled you, almost making you drop the device. You looked closely at the top left corner of the screen and saw the time.

It is currently 2:35 in the morning.

People at this time are usually sleeping, and those who aren't are probably sorting out work issues or are insomniacs.

You didn't fit into either of them, since your irregularity was due to the fact that you were too stubborn.

A shame, really.

You didn't stand on ceremony and immediately clicked on the notification, being taken to the chat with an unknown person.

Well, not really an unknown person... Looking more carefully, your sleepy mind managed to rationalize and recognize who you were talking to.

Oh, it's Ren.

“yea but dw, i'll go to sleep soon”

You immediately saw him start writing after receiving your message.

“are you sure? that doesn't sound honest to me. you've been online a lot lately”

How long exactly has he been watching you to say that? Sure, it's possible to see when your profile is online because of the app's settings, but it makes you wonder if he's been watching you all this time.

“have you been watching me online?”, you ask without hesitation.

You feel him give a slight chuckle from the other side of the screen.

“haha maybe. but don't get me wrong, you really do spend a lot of time awake at night, and that makes me a lil worried”

You're torn between finding his statement strange or acknowledging your not-so-healthy habit. It's true, you're weird, anyone would find it at least slightly worrying that you spend so much time online in the early hours of the morning.

“and what about you? you are also online right now at this very moment”, you retort back, anxiety consuming you as you wait for his response.

He would be considered a hypocrite for finding your habit troubling if he does the exact same thing.

“i have a very valid reason for that. my routine makes me stay awake at night and sleep in the morning or afternoon”

Now you feel an arrow hitting right in the middle of your heart. Sure, of course he would have a good reason to be awake at this hour.

You are the only odd one out in this situation.

“i'm sorry about that, i felt defensive about my habit being called out”, you apologized, worried that your words had come across as rude to him.

“that's alright. it's 2:42 am, no hard feelings”

You felt relieved that he didn't resent your words, despite knowing that they did not convey the same intonation as in real life.

you're thinking too much (or too little), your emotions are starting to eat you up.

“but i still think you should sleep”, he sent a second message.

You felt like a child being scolded by your father, being called out for your unhealthy behavior. You felt your cheeks flush and shame enter your system.

“i already told you, i'll sleep soon”, even if he doesn't notice, you felt like a sullen child trying to explain yourself.

“wheeen?”

“by the holy of god Ren, i'm not some kind of child”, you felt the need to say his nickname (name?) for the first time, trying to emphasize your slight irritation.

This time it took him a while to answer you, seeming to process the fact that you called him by his name. You felt judged in some way for this, thinking that maybe you weren't close enough to call him that.

when did you get so soft? is it sleep that's making you think too much?

Just as you were about to text him an apology, he interrupted you.

“i know that, i just worry about you”, his message warmed your heart in a way you couldn't imagine.

That's… sweet of him. Worrying about you even though you two are just strangers on the internet who bump into each other every now and then.

Are you falling in love?

“i appreciate ur concern, but i know what i'm doing”

No, you don't.

He sent you a picture of a fox with one eyebrow raised, appearing to doubt your certainty.

That brought out a genuine laugh you didn't know you were holding back.

you're leaving yourself vulnerable around him.

“aaaw what a cutie fox!! <3”, you said, referring to the image received.

“it really is! do you like foxes?”

“yea i like them! they are cute and fluffy and i honestly feel like hugging them”

For a while, Ren seemed to forget the fact that you were awake and kept talking to you about random, unrelated topics. Neither of them really had any connection with the other, but one thing led to another.

You noticed how easy it is to talk to him. He has a fluid oratory and is always making associations with other things he knows.

You found yourself incredibly interested and captivated in the conversation you suddenly began having with this stranger.

is this a red flag? shouldn't you be more concerned about a sudden approach?

When you looked at the time on your phone, you realized it was already 3:56 am, almost four in the morning.

Jesus, did you really spend that much time talking to him?

Feeling the tiredness consume you completely, you (finally) felt it was time to let your body have some much-needed rest.

“hey i know we're still talking, but it's almost four in the morning…”, you began delicately, not wanting to give him the wrong idea that you didn't want to talk anymore.

why are you so concerned about what he thinks, in the first place?

“i don't want to let our conversation end here, so i thought we could continue it another time”

Nonono, stop this, you're falling into his trap

“i'm sorry about this, my body is really screaming for sleep”

You idiot.

Ren analyzed your messages a bit before giving a proper response.

“awe that's alright! i really wanted u to sleep in the first place, and i feel kind of guilty that i did a bad job xd”

“keeping u awake and everything”

You felt guilty for him feeling guilty because it wasn't his fault in the first place! You were the idiot who decided to stay up at night, so the damage was already done.

“nonono u didn't! i was the dumb one for staying awake until now”

“i really enjoyed our conversation tbh”

You sent it and already felt your eyelashes getting heavy.

“hehe me too! i look forward to our next conversations”

“but now u really need to sleep, so pls don't stay up too long <3”

Silly little guy. He really gets you, doesn't he?

You felt happy that you had at least met someone during your time awake at night.

[cowgurrrl]

So, you asked for domestic requests - it‘s not exactly humourous, but at least it‘s fluff: how about Joel taking care of a reader who‘s got bad cramps? She‘s kinda anxious about it and he‘s like „Darlin‘ a little blood never scared me“ or sth like that (totally not inspired by me being on my period and trying not die because the painkillers aren‘t working yet)

Anyways, no stress, it‘s only an idea. Feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it. Love your writing 💕 ok byeee

Thank you for your kind words! I love this idea and I hope you feel better soon 🫶❤️

Dramatic

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: This ended up being way shorter than I thought it was gonna be but enjoy it nevertheless!

Warnings: period talk, reader being (rightfully) annoyed with Joel, fluff, lmk if I missed anything!

“I just think you’re bein’ a little dramatic.” He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. You crossed your arms over your chest as you stood in the bathroom, staring at him as he lingered in the doorway.

“I’m going to give you a chance to rethink what you just said to me.”

“I think you’re beautiful,” he retries and you hum. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your neck. You roll your eyes but lock your arms around his shoulders. “And strong, and kind, and so incredibly out of my league.”

“And forgiving, too. Don’t forget that.”

“Oh, the most forgiving,” He mumbles as he kisses your lips. You sigh against him, momentarily forgetting the stabbing pain in your lower abdomen.

It’s not that you were a stranger to your periods. Since the world fell apart, they were irregular if you even got them at all. Turns out running for your life and not being able to eat consistently while in Boston was not great for your body. But now that you were in Jackson, things were different. You had enough food, rest, and less anxiety than you had in a long time. Your period made her valiant return in response. Which is great, it’s what any other healthy person with a uterus would want, but learning to manage the symptoms again was a whole new playing field for both you and Joel.

The pain is, somehow, worse than you remember it, and your whole body feels tender and sluggish. You cried because you finished washing all the dishes in the sink only to go upstairs and find one of Joel’s mugs sitting on the bedside table. Poor Joel didn’t know what he was walking into once he got home from patrol and found you furiously scrubbing the cup. When he asked you about the blood staining your pants, you were just about ready to dig a hole into the center of the earth and die. That’s how he ended up following you into the bathroom even though you told him not to.

“How long have we been together?” Joel asks when you pull away. Your hands play with the hair at the nape of his neck as he looks at you with big, sympathetic eyes.

“Way too long.”

“You know that I love you and that I would do anything for you, right?” he asks, and you nod. “And you also know that I ain’t afraid of a little blood.”

“I know.”

“So, will you please let me help you? I’ll wash your clothes and run you a hot bath. Maybe make you a nice dinner?” His voice is so gentle and sweet that you practically melt into him. You’ll never understand how you got so lucky. “Or, if you want me to leave you alone, I can do that, too. Just tell me what you’re thinkin’, baby.” He urges as he rubs circles into your lower back. His hands are warm and just heavy enough to balance out your pain perfectly. You lay your head on his shoulder and relish in the feeling of his heartbeat against yours.

“I think that all sounds perfect. Thank you,” you say. You pick your head and move to kiss him again but stop just inches away from his face. “But I do think you’re being a little dramatic.” You whisper. He throws his head back and laughs, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.

“I’m never gonna live that one down, huh?”

“Definitely not your best work, Miller.”

He makes it up to you ten times over. He lets you borrow a pair of his sweatpants after your bath, and you get to walk downstairs to a beautiful dinner and a glass of wine. Afterward, he even runs over to Tommy's and "borrows" a bowl of their strawberry ice cream. He even carries you up to bed when you fall asleep on the couch after listening to him strum his guitar, something that is saved for special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.

He may not always say the right thing, but goddammit, if that man doesn't try his absolute best to be good to the women in his life.

Just in case tumblr decides to eat my paragraph

[thevoidscreams]

Hello🌹You can write something about Sanguinius, with a reader who has the reputation and behavior of  Ciaphas Cain and that the reader is very attached to the angel and his legion. In general, if you have a better idea, then it's even better😊 just make it Sanguinius with a cool reader. Thanks in advance💚🖤❤️💙

Bet you thought i forgot about this. But I didn't....I just forgot where it was that i was writing it. It's also not exactly on character i got way more self deprecating with it.

Rating: G No warnings just the usual 30kness.

The angel didn't think his hearts could take much more of this. His hearts were racing in a panic as he flipped over the mangled haul of a rhino, anxiety rising as he prepared for the worst. 

Instead, he found you scuffed but alive in a natural groove in the earth. As if the dip had been placed there specifically for your tiny body to fall into.

"Hi honey, how's the battle going?" You joked. He didn't think it was funny at all, but it'd have to wait. The battlefield was no place for a lover's quarrel.

"We are going to discuss this later." All around the both of you, his legion was pushing back a massive invasion of Orks. And just to the side of your exploded rhino was the charred remains of their war boss, his head half gone from the explosion that'd rocked the battlefield, drawing the angel's attention in the first place. What remained was a mangled mess that snarled up hateful and defiant even in death.

Your half cooked plan had paid off. Much to your delight. "YES! It worked! Look, Sanguinius, I got him, I got the war boss." 

"Yes, I see. You did well." Sanguinius said quietly, picking you out of the dirt where you still sat celebrating your victory over the massive green skin.

Sanguinius looked down at it, and the corners of his vision tinted red as he swung his blade down in one hate filled swing, taking the rest of its head clean off in one mighty blow. It'd threatened your life, and he hated it for that. He suddenly found that he hated all of these green life forms, dead or alive. And none of them could be left standing.

Sanguinius's fist clenched around the hilt of his sword. No, he had to get you back to safety.

"I'm taking you back behind the lines." 

"Yeah, okay." Your voice came out in a squeak without much protest.

Still his irritation spiked, already heightened by the natural aggression instilled by his gene flaw. "You were supposed to stay behind the lines. I only agreed to let you come because you promised to only watch and vox me if their movements became irregular. You didn't do that. You did exactly what I asked you not to do."

“Yes I know, but I can explain ... .once you’ve won that is.” You hurriedly insured, wanting very much for him to get you back to a “Safe” distance.

Sanguinius sighed, he had to admit that you'd never gotten hurt so far. Never anything more than a scratch or bruised. It was like you'd be supernaturally blessed with the gift of luck.

No. Not luck. It was just your tactical mind thinking ten steps ahead. Luck was superstitious, and his father would scoff at the suggestion.

Sanguinius took to the air, with you wrapped up in his arms. "My dove, I understand you want to help and fight. But you are so precious to me."

Internally you scoffed, but externally you gave him a firm look, as if to convince him that you weren’t some soft little coward who secretly did want nothing more than to stay on his flag ship and sip expensive beverages and eat fine foods.

"I won't get hurt though, I'll be fine. Ask any in your legion who saw. I was holding on just fine before the war boss even showed up." Of course he didn’t need to know that the only reason you were on the field to begin with was that a bomb squig had chased you out of your relatively cushy, covered position.  

He landed, back-winging gently as he set you on your feet. "You will stay here behind the lines where you promised to stay the first time."

There wasn't much you could do to argue with a primarch. But just to make sure he called out to the closest marine who turned eagerly when his primarch addressed him.

"Watch her. This time, she is to stay here and watch." 

Some prideful part of you wanted to be mad, but his voice was all patience and gentleness. You couldn't stay angry, he’d understand later, once you’d had time to explain.

You turned away from the fighting, not wanting to think about the thousands of gnashing teeth and cruel eyes of the enemy that almost saw to your destruction that day. It might have been cowardly, well no, it was. But that’s what you were by nature, even if no one but yourself recognized that. Deep inside yourself you wished to be a hero, wished to be as valiant and stalwart as those you loved and occasionally fought alongside. You wished you could really be the person people saw you as. Some great humanitarian and a worthwhile individual who didn’t just luck your way into these victories.

You could see the retreated populace in the distance. Wounded and tired. They needed rest and shelter. Then an idea came to you. Maybe you could be a hero today. Even in some minor capacity.

When the green skins had at last been driven back into a valley and trapped, Sanguinius left them to be cleaned up by his legion. They would be easy to finish off now. Trapped as they were.

He found you working, still with his faithful Son by your side. He relieved the marine of his post and sent him to finish the battle. 

"The battle is nearly over. We'll be heading back to the Red Tear soon."

You didn't respond verbally, just nodded.

Your eyes were fixed on the tent pole in your hands as you secured it against the planet’s powerful breeze. The civilians were receiving care and being served small meals as an immediate relief effort.

"I want to continue helping set up the tents and serving the meals." 

"I know." He couldn't apologize, he hadn't done anything wrong in ensuring your safety, but he still felt as if he'd had. 

"The orcs have been driven back, can I stay to help now?" You asked.

He nodded and offered a hand to secure the tent’s pole, you let him take it. You smiled and moved on to the next pole.  'Good, at least she doesn't hate me.' Sanguinius thought.

The whole company stayed several days longer than expected. The orks were long dead, their bodies burned. You'd insisted on staying and giving aid, it was the charitable thing to do. 

The people thanked you all profusely. Some gave near religious bouts of praise to them.

Sangunius took their thanks for the extended aid as he always did. With humility, and grace. But there was a bit of selfishness to it. He wanted you to be happy with him again. It didn't take long for that to happen but he still took those extra few days to ensure it. Not that you gave him as much time anyways, not with the amount of injuries that needed attending and the amount of mouths there was to cook for. You'd been going almost non-stop, helping loved ones reunite, helping burn those that were dead by the hands of the orks and burying those that died after.

The humans began to look to you as some sort of authority or guide. Seeing you lead them and the respect the people held for you made his heart flutter and his wings ruffle. 

He'd need to get you alone sooner rather than later.

This wasn't the place for all that.

When there was enough order at last he ordered everyone to begin returning to the Red Tear.

"My love?" Sanguinius addressed you as you both arrived on the ship. You turned to look up at him. “Yes, my Angel?” He felt a thrill of excitement shoot up his spine and his wings practically hummed, he loved when you called him that, mostly cause you only called him that when you were happy. But he pushed it down and maintained his calm and casual air. “May we speak in my office?”

You nodded and followed him across the ship. A little light in his long shadow. Still despite how little you felt people still whispered your name as if you were some hero of the imperium. Passing voices recounting your "heroic" deed of killing the warboss. They didn't even know the faintest hint of the truth. You looked up to watch Sanguinius, in all his regal beauty. He was too good for a coward like you, was all you could think.

His office was as lovely as the rest of the ship and you made an effort to use admiring it to avoid the upcoming conversation. Sanguinius was generally good at reading you despite your best efforts. He stayed quiet and let you have some time, he could sense you needed it. But it couldn't last forever.

"You've been in my office many times. Surely the trimming can't be all that new or exciting to you, darling." Sanguinius urged at last.

"Speak for yourself, I just noticed a brand new spot I've never noticed before, and it is delightful."

Sanguinius smiled despite himself.

"You know why I want to talk."

It was true, you did. But you didn't want to have to explain that you were a coward to your dauntless lover. 

"I know." Was all you could get out before your throat tightened and the first few tears dropped unbidden from your eyes as you continued to avoid meeting his gaze.

The sight of your tears had an immediate effect on the man, primarch or no he was still your lover and he hated seeing you distressed. He reached for you and you let him take you into his arms. His wings followed, wrapping you up in their power and protection. 

"Darling, what's wrong? I'm not angry with you if you're worried about that." Part of you was but it was a much smaller part than the voice in your head that kept calling you a coward and a liar.

"I didn't want to disobey your orders the other day." You said, strangely flat in tone. Your eyes still leaked those darned salty tears but you'd already begun and you couldn't stop now. "I didn't want to be on the battlefield at all to be completely honest with you." You'd never told him how much you didn't actually like the field of battle.

"Then why? What could have possessed you to do what you did."

"It was an accident, I was chased onto the field… by a squig."

Sanguinius could picture this new version of events clearly. And to his own self he felt ashamed, not just for getting cross with you but for the almost sickening sense of relief that flooded every inch of him. It was a new reason to keep you here, on his flagship and away from the battlefield.

His wings closed in tightly on you and he continued to listen.

"It was one of those that was covered in bombs. And I ran, I had a lasgun, I could have shot it. But I ran, like a coward." 

Sanguinius held you tighter and shook his head. "You're not, you had to get to a safer distance before you could do anything."

It was your turn to shake your head then. "I didn't even think about that. I was just scared and I ran."

Sanguinius was quiet. "Why did you ask to come along with us to the surface?" He was changing the subject, trying to give you a break from the previous line of thought. 

"I didn't. I made a joke about wishing I could spend the day with you despite the battle and it was put in as an official request to join you."

Sanguinius's wings puffed in frustration and a measure of anger. That such a sentiment should have resulted in your endangerment.

"I'm sorry, my love. That shouldn't have happened." He kissed the top of your head but you didn't respond. A claw of worry tore at him and he gave you a gentle squeeze. All that came from you was a quiet shuddering sob.

"Why are you crying?" He asked at last, trying to keep his voice calm so as not to add to the stress of the situation. Sanguinius was loathed to admit that seeing you like this left him feeling helpless. And he despised seeing you cry.

"Because now you know." You choked out, voice heavier with grief.

“Darling, I don’t think you are a coward. I think that you were in a stressful situation and reacted. You are not used to being on the field of battle. Besides, your actions today did help us. Even if I was terrified for your safety.” “You were terrified?” You asked, astonished, eyes wide and still wet with tears. “Of course I was, I heard over the vox that a rhino had landed on you. How could I not be terrified?” He drew in a breath. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Sanguinius tilted your chin up just a bit. “I love you.” He whispered the words so softly you almost questioned whether or not you had actually heard him right. “I love you too.” His lips brushed softly against yours, the kiss was sweet and he filled it with all the concern and love he’d felt over the past several days. “I think I’d like to just stay on the ship from now on. And I’ll just have your time and affection when things are settled.”

The primarch breathed quietly in relief. “Good. Because I’m not willing to risk your safety after all of that.”You both chuckled and he lifted you up. “Now let's get cleaned up. And I’ll give you some of that much desired affection.”

[lieutenantfloyd]

Cyclone dating an autistic!Reader would include (Headcanons) — Beau “Cyclone” Simpson

Pairing: Beau “Cyclone” Simpson x autistic!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of mental health, sensory issues, and social anxiety

a/n: thank you to the anons who requested this pairing!

He happily listens to you infodump about your special interest(s) for as long as you want

He'll commit everything you say to memory and do research on your interests on his own time so he can better converse and relate with you about them

Always keeps your safe foods well stocked

Will purchase your preferred and/or sensory-safe dishware and utensils so that mealtime is as painless as possible for you

Also consults you when shopping for his clothes so that he can be sure none of the fabrics or patterns will bother you

If you struggle with interoception, Beau text you various reminders throughout the day to eat, use the bathroom, drink water, etc. Ensuring that you're taking the best care of yourself as possible!

When you first start coming over or staying the night at his place, he'll take you around his house and have you test out his bedding, couches, rugs, etc to make sure they're ok for you

If anything is problematic (or even just not to your taste), Beau won't hesitate to remove it

The weekend afterward he will take you out to lunch before going out shopping for replacement decor

Also removes anything sharp or breakable from the space so that you won't hurt yourself if you fall or bump into it :)

Makes note of your favorite/most worn clothes and secretly buys duplicates for when your current ones inevitably wear out

Invests in lamps and fairy lights so you can avoid the widely hated "big light"

If he has to travel for work, he'll keep an eye out for any gifts he thinks you'd like. Looking extra hard for anything related to your special interest(s)!

Beau doesn't mind if you have a specific bedtime routine or have an irregular sleep schedule. Being in the military has trained him to sleep anywhere and through just about anything

He Always makes sure your emotional support water bottle is clean and filled

He will happily take over any household tasks that you don't enjoy or find overstimulating

Has told you many times that you're free to forgo "typical" employment in favor of pursuing one of your passions or simply staying home

When you're out together in public, he frequently checks in with you to make sure you're doing alright

If you let him know that you're ready to leave, he is perfectly happy to drop whatever he's doing and leave with you. No questions asked

Has no problem explaining jokes or expressions to you if you don't understand them

Because of his dry and sarcastic sense of humor, it's not uncommon for you to misinterpret him as being serious

So he'll often send you a wink to signal that he was simply joking

If you have social anxiety, he will seamlessly steer conversations away from you when he sees that the situation is bringing you discomfort

Keeps an extra pair of headphones and/or ear defenders in his desk for when you visit him on base :)

Gives such good hugs and is the best at deep pressure therapy!

! taglist !

@marchingicenotes7, @bayisdying, @princessofglitterland, @bella-law, @austin-butlers-gf, @callsignaries, @katesmadness, @dannyramirezwife, @oliviah-25, @luckyladycreator2, @shakira-sasha, @xoxabs88xox, @Criminalmindsandmarvel, @nyx2021, @fanboyluvr, @alexxavicry, @madamemelancholysstuff, @paola-carter, @barbiewritesstuff, @dozcan123, @withakindheartx, @nyx2021, @teti-menchon0604

[buddiefix]

Different First Meeting Fic's

The following are some buddie fanfiction that involve a different first meeting.

if it weren’t for second chances by alasse

9-1-1 (TV)  

When Buck doesn’t save Daniel, the Buckleys put him in foster care. Seventeen years later, Bobby meets a tall, lanky kid who can’t stop eating his pancakes at a church breakfast, and he gives him a phone number and an unconditional offer of help.

—or—

A story about how Buck finds a chosen family, and with a few twists and turns, eventually gets to the 118, meets Eddie Diaz, and maybe finds himself a second and a third (or, an Evan Nash story).

Language: English Words: 47,870 Chapters: 2/2

he hits my heart like a homerun by browney3dgirl6

9-1-1 (TV)  

“What’re you gonna do with that?” Eddie asked, tilting his chin toward the baseball. Evan shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe get it signed? You know the most expensive autographed baseball sold for over one hundred and ninety thousand dollars?” Eddie did not. “I don’t think anyone here’s that famous, but I just like to collect stuff wherever I go, you know?” He didn’t; not really. “Guess I haven’t traveled a lot of places I wanted to take souvenirs from. Bullets don’t exactly make good gifts or antiques. He hadn’t meant to let those words slip out, but something about Evan kept him brutally honest. It was like he couldn’t even tell the guy the simplest white lie. “Yea, guess you wouldn’t.”

—or—

the one where Buck and Eddie meet on a random Wednesday at a baseball game

Language: English Words: 6,091 Chapters: 1/1

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania 

9-1-1 (TV)  

After the ladder truck and the blood clot and the tsunami, Bobby makes Buck go to therapy before he does something stupid (like sue the city). Buck's not totally comfortable being alone with a therapist, but fortunately he makes a friend and ally who's willing to help him out - Eddie Diaz from the 136 who's just been caught in an illegal fight club.

—or—

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

Language: English Words: 10,491 Chapters: 1/1

i'd spend a lifetime giving you my heart by hammersmiths

9-1-1 (TV)  

“Well,” Buck says. “I’ve had worse first dates.” The man looks unimpressed. “We fell fifty feet, got trapped beneath a building, your legs are pinned, and you’re telling me you’ve had worse?” Buck thinks about this. “Well, Veronica liked the Red Sox.”

—or—

There's an earthquake. Buck and Eddie meet trapped together.

Language: English Words: 10,438 Chapters: 1/1

No Strings Attached by Princessfbi

9-1-1 (TV)  

The app had tattled on him with a little note at the bottom of the screen: EDDIE HAS TAKEN A SNAPSHOT But could you blame him? ‘Sorry’ Eddie had messaged only feeling slightly embarrassed that he’d been caught. ‘You want to move over to texting? You won’t have to screenshot. 😉

Language: English Words: 9,162 Chapters: 1/1

accidentally killing an octopus is just fishing by HMSLusitania

9-1-1 (TV)

Buck gets injured on a call and winds up taking some time at the hospital. Fortunately, his hospital roommate makes it much more bearable.

Language: English Words: 8,573 Chapters: 1/1

see you later (and love you just a little more) by hattalove

9-1-1 (TV)  

“Sorry,” Eddie says suddenly, with a little frown between his eyebrows that makes Buck’s next breath come in a wheeze. “I didn’t even ask if you’re okay. Any anxiety? Shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat?” “Not—uh,” Buck coughs, trying so hard to say something normal, but against his best efforts, what comes out is: “Not because of the elevator.” Eddie’s eyebrows climb up his forehead. “I’m not claustrophobic, is what I mean,” Buck says, but the damage has been done. “Just, you know.”

—or—

The one in which Buck stumbles on the rest of his life in a malfunctioning courthouse elevator.

Language: English Words: 8,047 Chapters: 1/1

Yellow Is Your Colour by Tizniz

9-1-1 (TV)  

The 118 responds to a call about a man stuck in a slide.

Language: English Words: 4,800 Chapters: 1/1

fight the break of dawn by glorious_spoon

9-1-1 (TV)  

“Hi, hi, sorry, excuse me,” the guy says. “Weird question, but would you mind doing me a massive favor?”

Eddie squints at him. It’s not exactly well-lit in here, but he’s still about ninety percent sure that this guy was not with Emilio’s bachelor party when they came in. “Do I know you?”

“Um. No,” the guy says. He’s got wide blue eyes and a nervous smile and a salt-rimmed margarita glass clutched in one large hand. As Eddie watches, he glances over his shoulder, then hunches down like he’s trying to hide. Given the size of him, it’s more ridiculous than effective. “So this is going to sound completely nuts, and I promise I’ll explain, but can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?”

Language: English Words: 4,736 Chapters: 1/1

(Friendly reminder I do not own any of the works listed in this post, and all can be located on archiveofoureown.org)

[mezmer]

hiiii can i ask you about ur experience w microdosing shrooms? how long have you been microdosing/what do you microdose for? what’s the “pattern” of use (like do u do it daily or every other day or irregularly etc)? ive microdosed a few times before but i can’t decide if i want to try doing it regularly to see if it helps my depression. im curious to know what it’s like for you both acutely and over time? and if youd recommend it for depression?

Hi sweetheart. My experience has been swell! The initial reason I got it was to soothe my insecurities. I figured psilocybin would help me love my body and feel more comfortable. Also, to use it with my partner so we can connect on a deeper level.

I've had them for about two weeks. My dosing has been irregular because my food scale does not weigh mg, only grams. Hard to tell how much I'm taking, so I'm taking very little. My plan is to blend them into a powder and get a new scale and dose that way, so I have a consistent dose. Still, I've been taking it here and there to reap the effects.

I recommend it for depression. I would do what I just said instead of taking a disproportionate amount if you are serious about it! If you're sensitive, it can make your tummy feel funny, which you may know. Ginger and other plants can help. Though it has helped my depression, and anxiety chiefly, I noticed it hasn't made me more productive, lol. I don't feel a lot of motivation to complete extra chores and make the house look great...which is something I wanted out of it. I can get myself in a better mood which helps.

Mostly, I am excited for summer time. That will be nice, being outside....the sun will really make my microdosing shine!

I have been motivated to eat fresh salads every day lol. That's a change I've noticed...

I bought a lot for very cheap so. You can message me about it if you would like. This is a lot, just ask any questions in notes or dm

[ilikerottenmilk]

Idk if you've already been asked this but does your 3d interfere with taking T? Like does it slow the effects or anything like that or have you not noticed a change?

Nah, it didn't really affected me or I haven't seen any negative effect yet.

I will take my third shot today (I take in every 21 days) and to be honest I actually show very fast effects. Like, my voice is deeper and stuffs.

That's my personal belief but I think not eating fatty food and exercising religiously somewhat helps. Just like how Cisguys not becoming a girl overnight by eating disorders, I don't think that a transsex or a transgender guy will become a girl overnight as well.

But of course your body type probably important in that too. I won't lie, I naturally have boarded shoulders. My problem was always been with my hips and thighs. Since I focus on that Region, I never seen myself getting any feminine on the upper body compared to my pre-T body.

Plus, a lot of model and some athletes(trans or cis doesn't matter) also have very strict diets.

Plus, the effects of 3d in males:

Low energy

Slow and irregular heart beat

Feeling cold

Dry skin

Hair loss

Weakness

Broken bones

Fullness

Bloating

Constipation

Decreased sex drive

Depression

Anxiety

Substance abuse

Insomnia

Are these. Usually people not talks about hormonal changes in males considering males doesn't need a womb or a lot of sleep in order to generate sex hormones. And since I don't have a business with estrogen, it not really effects me.

Usually womens are the ones who gets messed up hormones by ed because of period and stuffs.

I usually eat around 300 to 500 kcal in a day. And somedays I only stay with a small banana. I haven't seen any negative effect other than blacking out vision and low energy considering I was already depressed with anxiety.

Another thing that I want to talk about, mine is probably slightly Muscularity-Driven Eating Disorder with a little bit of traditional eating disorder. Yes, I do eat very less. But I also work out everyday no matter what which is a factor to increase testosterone levels slightly.

[vaulted-ceiling-painted-sky]

I'm making a major life change. I'm detransitioning (for medical reasons, so please don't cancel me).

I don't talk about this sort of thing much on my blog because I prefer to live a relatively private life separate from social media. However, I still wanted to disclose some things to my followers. I was on testosterone for over 5 years. I got the prescription after 8 months of counseling for gender dysphoria, followed by a consultation with a psychiatrist and an endocrinologist. This all started back in 2016 and I began taking T in 2017.

The symptoms that were considered part of my gender dysphoria diagnosis were mostly related to body dysmorphia. Since puberty, I felt like my body shape was completely wrong and that certain parts didn't belong to me (no real explanation, just physical discomfort). I had an eating disorder for many years that I never fully recovered from until the T improved my metabolism enough and I could start eating intuitively again. My other symptoms were... pretty much just being a weird girl and a social misfit. I had learned to mask it ok but social expectations just felt overwhelming and exhausting.

T was amazing for the first few years. My period stopped after a month, I lost fat and put on muscle, I could eat a full meal again, my body felt right in a way it never had before. I even got a new job where I felt like a fit in way better as a guy. I was extremely well informed on what changes to expect and when, and I was always careful with my health, getting regular blood tests and checking in with my doctors.

The side effects started to accumulate and worsen however. My body temperature ran high and I got overheated quite easily, which affected my sleep among other things. After about a year I started to get intense abdominal cramps with increasing frequency. Several years of this and I eventually had to get a hysterectomy (I kept my ovaries) and the cramping finally stopped. I had already had top surgery at this point. That was an entire ordeal on its own. I needed to have an emergency revision a week after the original surgery when I got a hematoma in the left side of my chest. I had to drive myself to the emergency room (my boyfriend was at work) where they opened the stitches and tried to manually drain it. Blood was gushing out of my side. I had to be rushed into the OR to have it fixed. After about 4 years on T, I began to have constant pain in certain organs due to atrophy. Medication only stopped it from getting worse, but the pain was still there and sex was out of the question. This can take a toll on one's mental health and relationship. The side effect that really scared me though was the heart problems. After nearly 5 years on T, I started having episodes of fast, pounding, irregular heartbeats. They were uncorrelated with anxiety, and heartburn medication did nothing. I stopped T for a few weeks and the episodes decreased. I started T again and had the worst one yet, where I was actually afraid for my life. I stopped again and my heart issues resolved in a month or two. My last dose was in October 2022.

Since then my body has been reverting to its natural appearance. I just look more feminine and read as female in spite of a flat chest and deep voice. It happened quickly for me. I decided to file paperwork for a court order name and gender change last week. I think I'll be back to publicly presenting as a woman in a few months. This has been a lot for me to process but I'm cautiously optimistic. And I'm so, so grateful that I have a loving, open-minded boyfriend and a supportive family. I don't know what I would do without them.

Why did I post this? Well, I thought sharing my experience might be useful for some of you. If you're on T or getting gender-related surgeries, or if someone you care about is, it's helpful to know about some of the things that can happen. My experiences differed significantly in some ways from the standard information you get on this stuff. Side effects can be quite manageable for some people, but very serious for others. I thought I was at very low risk of anything bad happening yet treatment still proved unsustainable for me. It can be difficult to find accurate information in a medical field that's been unfairly politicized. I just want what's best for everyone though.

[lunarsilkscreen]

TW: Anxiety and Depression

People in *situations* like to talk about "of course you're anxious" or "of course you're depressed". The system keeping you down, worried about tomorrow, discrimination, student loans you'll never pay off, worried about what your kid is going to eat tomorrow. Worried about the Hamas in the Gaza strip doing another 9/11. You know, the usual.

There's even an industry built around tackling those feelings caused by external factors. Life isn't a great feeling when you have no choice but to gamble. Or when it constantly feels like you're under attack for no reason but trying to get home.

It's why people look at these things like a disease of affluence. But I'm telling you; poor people experience these things too.

Those external factors, pundents constantly claim, once you have a steady income stream, shelter, one single album by Jimi Hendrix, and the feelings go away.

And then other pundents claim that after 72k$ income they come back because you've constantly got rich people problems.

Those are not Anxiety and Depression.

Scientific studies show that being in situations for extended periods of time (approx 6 months) can cause *those* symptoms to become *permanent* that, is one form of anxiety or depression.

I say them like this: "anxiety and depression" because "mental illness" sounds like you just got put in Arkham by Batman. Like it's this thing only supervillains have. Like they'd be fine if they just stopped stealing expensive art from rich people.

The baseline for Anxiety and Depression and other mental irregularities like PTSD, puts you into a permanent state of a doctor would say "arousal" but that sounds like you just took too many Viagra. A scientist might say "to excitation" but that sounds like the same thing.

Anxiety is a low grade fear, constantly in the background, even when you've got nothing going on, no bills. After being put into a situation, those background levels skyrocket, and you never can recover in order to really get out of that situation.

So you just kinda get stuck tuning it out, and trying to keep on.

Depression is this low grade sadness, like. Imagine somebody just laying into you everyday, but they're not funny about it, nobody is having fun, they're doing it to keep you down. And everybody else just says "well you deserve it."

Except, unlike Trump, there's nobody there doing that. But you feel like somebody is.

Personally, I can get through a lot when people aren't messing with me. But when they start playing around, it becomes difficult to do basic tasks. I'm talking about basic things like getting out of bed to go pee. On a day where you have nothing going on, no reason to not want to chill and play video games, or even just scroll on your phone while eating cereal.

Just, don't even want to do things on your relaxing day off to relax.

And that's why this ignorance of what anxiety and depression really is, is dangerous.

Like, "man, if you just ate a snickers, you won't have those shellshock flashbacks anymore."

Imagine, being so depressed that you don't even want to get high.

Now imagine being so anxious you can't take your pills that'll help you go-to work everyday. That's not a good example.

Imagine you have a job you enjoy, and are excited everyday to go-to work and get paid. But you had a situation that lasted 6-18months, like hospital bills, or legal issues. Or somebody stole your car or something.

And you realize; there's no reason to be happy anymore. So you just kind of give up. Because why do anything, even if you particularly enjoy it if that serotonin hit just isn't a thing anymore.

*oh my TikTok went viral. Guess it's time to never do tiktoks again*

It's hard to explain to people, because most people have their own issues like "ye. Life is SAD AND SCARY. AND WE ALL JUST DEAL WITH IT."

"Well I was also dealing with it, until this thing made it impossible to deal with it anymore."

It *sounds* like burnout too, because it's a similar thing. But you can recover from burnout with a long enough vacation. (If you can afford a vacation.)

"The hardest part about going to work, is going to work, and then after you get started it's fine."

Ok, now imagine after that, and your morning coffee, and you're just mentally checked out all day everyday. Sure you get work done, and the pay means you don't starve or end up homeless.

But you're never actually there. Not like *watching cat videos in the bathroom* not there, or *constantly imagining yourself at the bahamas, working on your vision board* not there.

Just. Not. There. The lights are on, but nobody is home.

Physically you're there, but you're like a robot that's had all its dreams about the future sucked out.

You can't dream you can't think, you can't get aroused or excited. (I mean, sure you jerk off at home, but that's not what I meant).

I'd say Sui* Ideation, but that isn't even on the table. It is when you take the advice of the gurus who say "just learn to get passed fear". Because that's what happens when you're in a constant state of depression and no longer fear the one thing keeping you on the planet.

And all it takes is six months, unless you're not a betac*, then it could be years. But you still end up in the same place.

[peachel-ayam]

my first post on this personal blog

on being ridiculously skinny — I’m not proud of it

All I want to do is gain weight

Disclaimer: This post was initially published on my Medium account under the "Bitchy" publication, and received hundred readers per week. Given that this is my personal journaling blog, I wanted to share it here as well. You can find the original post here.

(image by me)

Toxic body positivity doesn’t only apply to those who are overweight; I’ve experienced it too — an underweight individual.

People would tell me, “You should be grateful for God’s gift,” or “Being thin is a favor,” or even claim, “All women want a body like yours.”

But at the same time, I also received tons of, “Whoa, you look like you haven’t eaten in months,” or “You are thinner than paper,” or the worst of all, “If there’s a windstorm, it can be strong enough to push and float you.”

These words echoed through my mind, causing me to question my self-worth and validity.

“You MUST accept your body or you will never be happy”

I don’t want to invalidate all the words they say because I do feel concerned about my weight. I’ve noticed that I’m significantly underweight compared to others around me.

My clothes seem to hang loosely on my frame, and I feel self-conscious about my appearance. While some people may think being thin is a blessing, I can’t help but worry about my health and well-being.

I’m not proud of it. There, I said it. The truth can be hard to face, but I can’t keep denying it any longer.

Yes, I may have a naturally slender figure, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with body image issues. The pressure to fit into society’s narrow definition of beauty is relentless, and it affects all body types, including mine.

My self-esteem plummeted, leading me to avoid social interactions and feeling too insecure to wear certain clothes that I feared wouldn’t flatter my thin frame, making me look like a walking pencil in strange costumes.

I’ve been doing some research about being underweight, and it appears that there could be various factors contributing to my situation.

Stress and anxiety could be affecting my appetite, and I may not be consuming enough calories to maintain a healthy weight. Moreover, my busy lifestyle has led to irregular eating habits, often skipping meals or opting for quick, unhealthy snacks.

I realize that I need to make some changes to my daily routine. Eating a balanced diet and incorporating more nutritious meals will be essential in healthily gaining weight.

I was once confused about whether to see a therapist — for a possibility of anxiety — or go straight to a doctor for my weight problem. In my confusion, I turned to the internet for answers and unfortunately fell for weight-gain ads instead, purchasing a high-priced honey-like product that had no effect.

I also tried making smoothies from various online recipes, but they yielded the same disappointing results. It was a valuable lesson not to trust random ads or articles on the internet.

Then, I decided to talk to a nutritionist who suggested meal plans and specific foods to increase my caloric intake healthily. I started a little food journal on my phone to keep track of my eating habits.

This will help me identify any patterns or deficiencies in my diet. I'm not going to lie, it was challenging to break old habits and adopt a new diet, but I’m determined to give it my best effort.

Weeks and months have passed, and I’m starting to see some positive changes in my weight since I’ve been following the meal plan prescribed by the nutritionist. However, I won’t lie; it’s still a struggle.

Some days, I feel bloated and uncomfortable after eating more than I’m used to. My self-esteem is also taking a hit when I think about how much effort — and money — I have to put in to reach a healthy weight.

I remind myself that this journey is about my health and not just my physical appearance. It’s essential to stay focused on the bigger picture and continue working towards a better, healthier version of myself.

A year later, I got sick. Stomach problem. My busy schedule in the new office has interfered with my good and healthy eating habits. Forgetting to take lunch and eating unhealthy foods late in the evening became a common occurrence.

The long commute to work with an empty stomach and sleepy eyes only worsened the situation. Months of unhealthy behavior led to my hospitalization, resulting in further weight loss.

I was devastated, knowing that I had to start my healthy behavior from the beginning and endure all the struggles again. However, I realized it was necessary for the sake of my health.

As a first step, I made the difficult decision to resign from that office, prioritizing my well-being.

I started keeping a food journal again and attempted some exercises to gain weight — though I must admit, due to my 9–5 daily schedule, finding time to exercise is hard, resulting in rare opportunities to do it. To compensate, I maximize my efforts by consuming more weight-gaining foods.

I understand that this is a slow and gradual process, but I’m determined to continue. My new eating habits are becoming more natural, and I don’t feel as overwhelmed by the calorie intake as I did initially.

It’s essential to clarify that my decision to focus on gaining weight is not influenced by others’ judgments of my appearance, but rather driven by my genuine concern for my body’s health.

People often assume that because I’m thin, I must have it all — that my life is perfect and carefree.

But they don’t see the battles I fight with myself or the times I avoid social situations because I fear judgment based on my appearance.

Back to the first topic: toxic body positivity doesn’t discriminate. It affects us all, regardless of our size or shape. Society’s obsession with body ideals has created an environment where any deviation from the norm is met with criticism and scrutiny.

I want to embrace body positivity just as much as anyone else, but it’s hard when the world constantly sends mixed messages. On the one hand, I’m told to love my body and be confident, but on the other hand, I’m bombarded with comments that make me feel inadequate and ashamed.

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin, you have to say you want to be healthy. But also, you have to be thin — — It’s too hard, it’s too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you!”

The monologue lasts longer than that and serves as a reminder of the importance of embracing authenticity and acknowledging the complexities of our emotions and experiences.

Body positivity should be about celebrating all bodies, not just those that fit a specific mold. It’s about recognizing that every person is unique and deserving of love and respect, regardless of their appearance.

To anyone who has experienced similar comments or struggles with body image, know that you are not alone. We must challenge society’s unrealistic beauty standards and foster an environment of acceptance and understanding.

Despite still being underweight and facing the challenge of regaining it, I refuse to give up on loving my body and striving to be the best version of myself, as evidenced by finding and wearing more suitable clothes for my current weight and not shying away from social interactions, as embracing self-love means giving my body and appearance the best care.

My worth is not determined by my size, and I refuse to let toxic body positivity bring me down. I will continue to work on loving myself for who I am, and I hope others will do the same.

Let’s strive for a world where body positivity is truly inclusive and where everyone can feel valued and appreciated, regardless of how they look. It’s time to break free from the shackles of judgment.

I am more than just my body, and so are you. People who say otherwise can f themselves.

[justashadetalkative]

do they have set times for their meals, or do they eat whenever they feel like iit? -for anyone

Phosa & Linast: Under normal circumstances they don't eat. During that human incident, Linast ate as circumstances (and sensory issues) allowed, which was irregular at best. During that same time frame the medical crew and some of Phosa's friends tried to keep Phosa eating on a schedule, but... between anxiety and dissociation and, again, sensory issues, that mostly just turned into her doing her best to eat small portions whenever she could stomach them.

Diamond: Genuinely does his best to eat at set times. He has meal time alarms set on his watch because otherwise he tends to forget. He also tends to at least keep snacks and drinks in his bag so that he doesn't have an excuse to put it off or ignore the alarm.

Clemcy: Eats whenever he feels like it, with a vague effort towards eating regularly each day but not much mind paid to the specific time.